The way I am
by ginasunshine97
Summary: A songfic about tonks and Remus's relationship. The song is the way I am by Ingrid michaelson. I own nothing, though I wish I did! I wouldn't have killed Remus and tonks off...
1. Chapter 1

_If you were falling, then I'd catch you..._

Tonks tripped over that cursed troll leg in the hall again. _What else is new?_ She thought to herself as she picked herself off the floor, groaning a bit, she had smacked her knee pretty hard on her way down. She could now feel it swelling. _Fantastic_. Tonks brushed her bright, bubblegum pink hair out of her eyes and tried to compose herself once more before heading into the meeting, that she was no doubt late for. The hall was dark and quiet. Had she really not disturbed that blasted picture on the wall? That's what she called luck, something she didn't experience very often.

Just as she was opening the door to the dining room Remus lupin rounded the corner, coming from the kitchen. "Wotcher, Remus" tonks said grinning, it always cheered her up to see those warm, chocolate brown eyes. "Oh, hello there nymph- tonks" Remus caught himself and gave her a smirk, one that must've melted the hearts of all girls when he was a young maurader, and probably still did.  
She gave him a playful wink and opened the door the rest of the way and made her way to sit at the table in between mad-eye and Sirius, who smiled at her and kicked her from beneath the table, "Fall again?" He whisper-teased her, as everyone else had already started the meeting. "Mmm, only because your choice in decor is absolutely horrific, cuz'" Tonks replied, playing. Sirius only gave his cousin a smirk before returning his attention back to the meeting.

_Could this get any longer?_ Tonks thought to herself as the meeting dragged on. This one had to be the longest yet. She bounced her leg up and down, having had too much coffee, and no doubt caffeine, that morning. She looked up and down the table, pausing on each and everyone of her friend's faces. There was mad-eye, who was looking concentrated, and a bit paranoid. There was Sirius who was taking a swig from a bottle of fire whiskey and grimacing at the burn as it went down. Molly was just two people to the left of her, holding Arthur's hand as he kissed her forehead.

Then, she allowed her eyes to wander to Remus, who was gazing into the fire, lost in thought, apparently. She loved how the fire reflected in his amazingly brown eyes. She never noticed how he had little wrinkle, smile lines around his eyes. Which made him look extremely lovely. She also noticed he had one long scar running from his cheek bone down to the corner of his lips. His scars didnt mar his gentle features, though. If anything, they made him look so much more- She was startled out of her thoughts when she realized most of the order was looking at her. "What?" She asked, a bit embarrassed, hoping no one realized what- or who she was looking at.

Kingsley cleared his throat and in his deep, soothing voice answered "Dumbledore asked if any new happenings of interest had occurred at the ministry recently." Tonk's felt her cheeks go up in flames, Kingsley had noticed. Crap. She decided to play it off, "oh, yeah, umn... Sorry, I was actually just thinking about an interesting report I got today. Apperantly, a whole muggle apartment was lost. Yes, lost. It just isn't there anymore. The muggles are just completely baffled. The ministry is claiming it was just a practical joke that some teenagers did...but, fudge seemed awfully... Worried? So, I'm not quite convinced." Tonks said all of this with grace.

Everyone started murmuring amongst themselves about this incident and Tonks sighed, pleased that she seemed to pull it off. She didnt completely lie, though. It really had happened... She just hadn't been thinking about the case. She wasn't sure WHY she had been thinking about how handsome Remus was, it wasn't like she normally did that. She had now been part of the order, therefore knowing Remus, for a grand total of a month, and as it had occurred to her that he was attractive, and they had become fairly good friends, she never got lost in thought about him... She internally shrugged and glanced back over at him without thinking and he caught her eye. He smiled and casually turned his head back to his right, so he was looking at Kingsley again. Had he been looking at her?

Sirius, Mad-Eye, Remus, Emeline Vance, and Tonks were the only ones left, lounging at the table. Everyone else had already headed home, seeing as it was midnight. Tonks had work in the morning, she really better get going she thought, but she was having too much fun! Sirius was teasing Mad-Eye about being constantly vigilant and she was sure that he had a bit too much to drink as he had been hitting on Vance quite a bit, and Remus couldn't quit laughing, she was laughing so hard her sides had started to ache, and Remus was wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. Just as the last round of laughter died down Mad-Eye slid his chair back with a squeak and told everyone he had better get going since he had to go to work early on in the morning.

As he passed Tonk's chair he gruffly squeezed her shoulder, which she assumed meant some form of affection. She was one of the few people he cared for, she was one of his favorite students during auror training, she had too much spunk to dislike, he always said. She smiled up at him amd said goodbye. Soon after that Vance excused herself and got up, "I'd better get going, too! I can't believe the time. We will have to do this again, soon. Walk me to the door, Sirius?" Tonks and Remus exchanged smirks as Sirius turned a lovely shade of red and got up to let her out. As soon as they were out of hearing range one loud bark of laughter came forth from Remus's mouth.

Tonks loved his laugh, it was so deep and genuine. It was hard not to simply enjoy the sound of it. Tonks looked at him and smiled, "Seems like I'd better send a patronus before I drop by next time, if you get what I mean" she said while giggling. Remus blushed a bit, he was rather private, she had noticed. "Yeah, and I'll most likely get all the details, knowing padfoot!" He joked back. Tonks grinned and got up, "tea?" She asked as she started looking for a teapot. "That would actually be quite ni-" He got cut off by a loud CLANG as she accidentally dropped the newly found pot on the cement floor.

Tonk's hair turned a bright shade of peach, her embarrassed color. Way to go, Tonks. She grimaced and picked it up, morphing her hair bubblegum pink, again.  
She glanced up at lupin, who was looking at her with a soft smile on his lips. She tucked her hair behind her ear, mumbling a sorry, slammed the teapot on the stove and turned it on. "How do you like your tea?" She asked, getting out a sugar dish and rooting in a drawer for a spoon. "Guess" was all he answered with. Tonks looked at him with surprise, since when was he so relaxed? "Fine, sweet." She answered. He seemed to have a thing for sweets, so she put two spoons of sugar in his mug and four in her own. She was a bit of a sugar maniac. The teapot whistled its high pitch scream.

Tonks dropped her mug out of shock. Peach. Again. Sirius came into the kitchen calmly, as if he expected things to break when she was around. She looked at the floor, but Remus was already up, muttering repairo. "Well, okay then...Thanks...Here" Tonks mumbled, still embarrassed by her clumsiness, while she poured some tea into Lupin's mug and handed it to him. He looked down at her, only a foot away and thanked her in a soft voice. Tonks felt her stomach twist. Her stomach twist? Since when did that start happening, Nymphadora? She thought to herself. Quite embarrassed, and trying to keep her hair from morphing again, she decided it was time to leave, "Well, I'd better get going! Thank you again, Sirius. I had a really good time! We will 'have to do this again'" she said while she and Remus chuckled at the look on Sirius's face.  
"'Least I can get a date!" He said poking her in the ribs.

She giggled and hugged him before grabbing her coat and headed for the hall. "Wait, I'll lock you out" Remus said while getting out of his chair. "Constant vigilance" Sirius said, winking at her. She nodded, trying to look serious, letting out a giggle. She and Remus were walking down the unlit hall when she felt his hand brush her back and even though she was sure it was an accident, it surprised her and she forgot to look for that darned troll leg.

She started to fall over it when she felt a pair of large, warm hands, wrap themselves around her middle, catching her. She sighed with relief. "Caught you" she heard Remus's playful voice in her ear. Feeling his warm breath on her neck. She straightened up and turned around a bit, though he still hadn't let go. Butterflies erupted at the feeling of his warm hands on her back. "Heh, yeah... Thanks. Next time I might not be so lucky" she said smiling. He grinned and let her go quickly, once he realized what he was doing, he took two steps back and ran his hand trough his thick sandy brown hair that had just a few grey spatterings throughout it. He chuckled and gave a true marauders grin, a teasing glimmer in his eye, "Eh, if your falling, I'd catch you" he said. He leaned around her as he said it, unbolted and opened the door for her. "By the way, you are right...I like it sweet." He said with a wink. As she stepped out into the cold night she thought to herself, _I think I just fell..._


	2. Chapter 2

_If you need a light, I'd find a match..._

Remus sat down with a flop on the couch in grimmauld place. He sighed, he had promised Sirius he would stop by to talk after his interview, but said interview did not go so well. Now, he was here and couldn't find Sirius. He wasn't worried, though, the house was so big it wasn't unusual for Sirius to get "lost".

_Well, I guess I will just wait for a bit, until Sirius shows up, I have nothing better to do,_ Remus thought to himself and grabbed the nearest book of the coffee table, flipping it over so he could read the back of it _A wizards guide to muggles electricity_ it read. _Hmmm, Arthur must have left this here last Wednesday.._. Remus shrugged and set it back down. He looked around the small sitting room taking in the house he already knew so well.

The ghastly flower-printed sofa, the burgundy wingback chair, that he loved, the large fireplace, which was dark, cold, and empty, the tall bookshelf that reached the ceiling, the huge, crystal chandleir that hung from the tall ceiling, catching all the dust... Remus pulled himself off the couch and walked over to the mahogany bookshelf, reading the titles: _hogwarts a history, the little broom that could, household spells that every home-witch should know, dark arts and how to spot them_, just to name a few. Remus couldn't help but grin when he saw _a hogwarts a history_, remembering how many times he had read that very copy, when he was a student. He pulled it off the shelf and blew the dust off of it, coughing a bit as he got some in his lungs. The spine showed a tiny bit of damage and the pages were so dog-eared that it looked to be about fifty years old, not twenty-four. Wow, only twenty four years? He thought to himself. It felt like so much longer, since we was a teenager. He remembered the day he got that very book...

_Remus walked across the grounds of the school as he made his way to the shore of the black lake. Today was his fifteenth birthday, and his friends had asked him to meet them under their favorite tree. He was excited that they had remembered this year. The tree came into view as well as his four friends who were beneath it: James, who was sitting with his back against the trunk and his long legs sprawled in front of him; lily, who was sitting next to James,Indian style, reading something; padfoot, who was sprawled out on the grass, turning each leaf above him a different color; and last, but not least, was little, mousy Peter. Remus didnt think the others treated Peter very fairly, so he always went out of his way to show kindness to wormtail.  
Once he was a few yards away all of his friends got up grinning at him and shouted "happy birthday!" Remus grinned and ran the last few steps to them. Lily threw her arms around his neck "happy birthday Remus! I got you something!. She said stepping back and getting her bag off the grassy lawn. As she rooted around in it, Remus got hugs, high-fives, and back-slaps from his other three pals. "Here it is!" Lily exclaimed pulling a large squared-shaped package out of her bag and handed it to him "open it up!" She commanded, smiling widely at him. Remus plopped down in a nice spot on the grass and ripped the paper off the present "a hogwarts a history? Oh! Thank you, lily! I've been meaning to read this!"_

Remus smiled at the memory, that was one of his favorite birthdays. Well, until James and Sirius had thrown him into the lake. He chuckled at the memory. Remus was stirred out of his thoughts as a loud CRASH resounded through the house, something had just fallen down in the hall, figuring it was Sirius, finally showing up, he headed towards the sound.

"Crap, crap, CRAP!" A female voice muttered. Remus smiled, recognizing who was speaking, and it most certainly wasn't padfoot. As he she came into view, Remus leaned against the doorframe, "hello, tonks!" He said smiling softly at her. He enjoyed tonks company immensely, she was sweet and funny, not to mention the amount of audacity she had. It also helped that she didn't know about his 'furry little problem', he liked that she was just herself around him.

"Oh, er, hello Remus. I didn't know you were here." Tonks said, her hair turning peach. It never failed to amaze him, her morphing. "Yeah, I've been waiting for Sirius to unbury himself from the depths of this house... For about..." Remus looked at his watch "twenty minutes" he looked up at her and smiled "care to keep me company?" Tonks looked at him and she straightened the troll leg and her hair went back to the color it had been, brown. "of course! Id love to!" she gave him a genuine smile before saying "What do you have there?" She craned her neck, looking at the book in his hand.

Remus smiled, "long story" he said. " I have time" tonks replied winking at him. He loved how she was so relaxed around her, as well as her young energy, it made him feel young again, which wasn't an easy feat, by any means. "Well, I'll only tell you if you join me in the kitchen for a cup of hot chocolate" he said grinning at her. She looks lovely today he thought as he realized what she was wearing: black leggings under a sweater dress that was the shade of rose petals, it contrasted nicely with her alabaster skin, which was creamy and smooth looking. Her hair was a little longer than shoulder length and was the most beautiful shade of brown he had ever seen.  
"All dressed up to see Sirius?" Remus asked playfully, forgetting to be guarded around her, like always. "Oh, completely. You know his dashingly good looks make me feel so plain" she joked, laughing. Her laugh sounded like the tinkling of silver bells. It was a nice sound. A spund he enjoyed. _What are you thinking, you prat. Sure, she is attractive, but she is 12 years younger than you. You don't need to list all of her good qualities, no matter how many she may h_ave, Remus scolded himself. He often had to remind himself not to get too close to her. He wasn't good for her.

Tonks couldn't quit smiling, she took another sip of her, now cool, hot chocolate. She loved to hear Remus tell stories about the marauder days. She could listen to him talk for hours on end, she loved his gentle, but deep voice. "I'll have to find a way to mess with Sirius, now that you gave me all that information" tonks giggled. "Oh, no, you might make my life difficult, and you would want to do that. Now, would you?" Remus said bumping her foot with his underneath the table. She stuck her tongue out at him and said "maybe I would."

Remus leaned his kitchen chair back on two legs and stretched, which tonks enjoyed. She liked the look of his lean body. His shirt pulled up a bit and she saw a few scars on his stomach." Is it okay if I ask you something?" She suddenly said quietly. "Hmm?" Remus murmured while getting up to put his mug in the sink.

He turned around and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms loosely over his chest, his dark blie short sleeves rolledmup to hos elbows, his tanned forearms showing, also covered in scars. Tonks stood up and reached around him, leaning close to his body as she dropped her mug in the sink, along side his. "Where did you get your scars?" Her voice was timid and slight, which surprised Remus thoroughly, she wasn't one to be careful. He suddenly became self conscious, something he never was around her sparkling personality, and ran his hand over his unshaven jaw.

"I was wondering when you would ask..." He said with a sigh. Tonks leaned against the table, across from where he was standing "you don't have to tell me, if you don't want to." She said softly, looking at him with an understanding gleam in her eye. "No, it's fine..." Remus said wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger. He knew this was inevitable. "I'm a werewolf" he stated simply, expecting her to leave. Or cry.

"Oh. Okay.. Tonks said smiling at him. Remus was confused. Really confused. Wasn't she scared? He took a step closer to her, he was now close enough to see the flecks on silver in her violet eyes, trying to see of she was scared. She didn't move. She looked strongly back into his eyes. "Aren't you scared of me?" He asked quietly. Tonks let out a tinkle of laughter, "Of course not, silly! Why would I be?" Remus looked at her, dumbfounded. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I'm dangerous?" He said, sarcastically.

Just as he finished saying _dangerous_ the house went dark. _Dark? How late is it? Have we really been talking that long? What happened to the lights?_ All of this went through remus's head as he instinctively reached out to grab ahold of something, and touched tonk's arm. "Sorry." Remus muttered, jerking his hand back. "What happened?" He heard her light voice ask. "I don't kn- OW!" Remus exclaimed as he has accidentally set his hand on what must have been a stray knife, lying on the counter.

He touched it with his other hand and could feel a lot of hot blood. "Are you okay? What happened?" Tonks asked with obvious worry in her voice.  
"Oh, it's nothing. Just a cut" lupin said, trying to ease her worry. "Let me.. Well, let me feel, since I can't see..." Tonks said, worry still in her voice. Remus sighed and held his hand out, waiting for her to find his hand in the dark. She lightly found his fingers and he felt electricity from her touch. He jerked back. "Did I hurt you?" Tonks asked and he could feel her take a step forward, they couldn't be more than five inches apart, now. He could feel her warmth. "No, umn, just startled me." He said, realizing how lame he must've sounded. Tonks reached out and found his hand again.

"Oh, this feels pretty deep. We need to get a light on so I can get a better look..." She trailed off. "Bloody- ugh. I forgot my wand in the sitting room!" She sounded extremely frustrated with herself. "What kind of auror am I?" Remus smiled and softly said "A good one, its not like you would've been worried about me hurting you before." "Before what?" Tonks asked, sounding irritated. Remus was about to respond when he heard someone shout a trail of curse words from a couple floors up. Both tonks and Remus said "Sirius" as the same time. They both let out a nervous chuckle. "Hang on." Tonks said.

Remus could feel her brush up against him as she walked past. He tensed. Then he heard drawers opening and shutting, quickly. "What are you doing?" He asked. "Ahhah!" She exclaimed and he heard a _snitch_ sound and then he could see her face, just a few inches in front of him. "I found a match!" She said, grinning at him, the flame top close to her hair, for his liking. He gently moved her hand away from her face a bit. "Now let me look at your hand." She reached down and lightly grabbed his hand, which was lying at his side. He watched her as she lit a candle and set it on the counter, still holding his bloody hand.

"That's better, now lets see..." She looked at it rather closely. "Mmm, doesn't look to bad. I can fix that!" She said, and before he could stop her she reached into his back pocket. "Hey! What are you doing?" He exclaimed, shocked. He jumped back, jerking his hand with him. "Ouch, bloody heck." He mumbled as he moved his hand wrong and it split a bit further open. "Ah!" She held up his wand and muttered a spell. His hand started to heal itself, as a stinging sensation spread throughout his arm. He realized he was blushing and looked back down at tonks who had a strange look on her face. He cleared his throat and muttered a thanks. Just as he was running his hands through his hair the lights turned back on, and Remus heard cheering from the second floor. Sirius came clunking down the stairs into the kitchen and stopped suddenly. "Oh. When did you two get here? Oh, nevermind! Guess what I just did? I fixed the electerricitae! Arthur left me a book on how to and I did it! By myself!" Sirius looked at them, obviously expecting praise. A chorus of good jobs and congrats came from the two, very embarrassed, blushing adult mouths. "Want to stay for dinner?" Sirius said, then looked at them suspiciously, noticing something was off.

"Well, I'd better get going" Remus said, getting up from the table. "Thanks for dinner, Sirius!" He said, appreciative, he was glad he didn't have to eat cold take out leftovers again. "Don't thank me, thank Molly. She brought it over the other day." Sirius said, half smiling half grimacing. Remus knew that Sirius appreciated it, he just wished he could take care of himself. Remus gave Sirius a half smile and patted him on the shoulder. "Thanks anyway, mate. I'll bring dinner next time."

Tonks got up and stretched "wait up, I'd better go too. I have work in the morning. But, I have an idea. How about once a week the three of us have dinner? We can take turns bringing it. But, ill warn you two... I'm a terrible cook." Tonks grinned when sirius and remus agreed that her idea was fantastic. She hugged Sirius and headed towards the door with Remus.  
"I always feel bad, leaving him alone." Tonks whispered, sounding sad, realizing how lonely he would be. "Yeah. Me too." Remus sighed and started pulling on his shabby trench coat, "So, you never told me why you were all gussied up!" Remus said, smirking at her. "Oh, that. I just had a meeting with the head auror, scriminger, at a restaurant." She answered, rolling her eyes and pulling on her forest green peacoat.

"Ohh, a date?" Remus said, wiggling his eyebrows. He knew it would bother her. She rolled her eyes again, "He wishes! If that creature hits on me one more time, and I don't care if he is my boss or not, I am going to hex the living soul out of him!" Tonks said frustrated, as her hair turned red. Remus laughed, delighted with her morphing, once again. She sighed and made it turn her favorite shade of bubblegum pink again. As they headed out the door tonks turned around and gave him one last charming smile and apparated. He then realized he had forgotten all about his failed job interview. If he was honest with himself, SHE made him forget about it, with her laughter and happiness... Had she really not cared that he was a werewolf? Or was she just being kind? Remus sighed and ran his hand through his hair, he couldn't deny it much longer. He had been charmed by that colorful witch.


	3. Chapter 3

'_Cuz I love the way you say good morning and you take me the way I am..._

Remus lupin shifted from his resting place, against the kitchen counter, and moved to the chair closest to the door, across from Sirius and continued sipping his coffee. Today Tonks was supposed to come over and they were supposed to help Sirius by going grocery shopping for him, something he obviously couldn't go for himself, seeing as he was on, what Sirius liked to call, house arrest. Remus was going to do it on his own, but Tonks had insisted they needed a women's touch, if not Remus would end up buying butterbeer and chips. He smiled, remembering that conversation. It ended with an arm wrestling match, between Tonks and Sirius. Tonks won.

Remus was still waiting for Tonks to tell him she didn't want to associate with a werewolf, but it had been three weeks since he had told her, and she was still...She was still Tonks around him. Sirius sat down with a bowl of Owl O's and added about a cup of sugar to them. Another reason Tonks insisted on going shopping with Remus.  
Remus felt a hand go through his hair, "Mornin' Remus!" Tonks said and yawned. She grabbed the , box of cereal off the counter and grabbed a hand full, shoving it into her mouth, as she hopped up onto the counter. "Oh, so lady like, Tonks!" Sirius greeted her, rolling his eyes. She responded with something that sounded something like, "Mmphpup!" Remus chuckled and sipped his coffee again, he loved how alike the two cousins were. Tonks swallowed and stuck her tongue out at Sirius, "Good morning to you too. Jealous?" She joked with him. She opened the fridge and stuck her head in, "Do you have any apple juice?" Remus heard her call from her position in the fridge, "Well, we must fix that!" Tonks exclaimed, not waiting for him to answer her. Sirius looked at Remus and rolled his eyes, grinning.

"Ready to go?" Tonks asked, shoving another handful of cereal in her mouth, dropping a piece or two. She must be a morning person, Remus thought to himself. He was still tired and stiff from his last transformation, therefore he most definitely was not. He smiled at her, her excitement contagious, "We are just grocery shopping, Nymphadora." He chuckled. Tonks blushed and shrugged, her over sized t-shirt falling off her shoulder, slightly. She looked quite adorable today Remus decided.

She was wearing a pair of denim shorts, which reached about mid-thigh and showed off her long, trim legs; she was wearing her oversized tshirt that was a very pretty shade of green against her skin; and she had a pair of neon yellow converse, which perfectly mirrored her playful personality. Also, she had her infamous chin-length, bubblegum pink hair.  
He got up, stretched and said, "I'm going to go change into some muggle-worthy clothes. I'll be right back." He placed his mug into the sink, "By the way, while we are gone you should probably water some of the plants that are growing in place of your dishes!" Remus joked, heading for the stairs to go the room sirius gave him upstairs. He heard Tonks give a tinkle of laughter. He opened the door to find kreature "dusting" his stuff, most likely stealing it. "Hey, kreature, I'm going to change, can I have a bit of privacy?. He asked politely. Kreature left, leaving a trail of insults in his wake. Remus rolled his eyes and smiled slightly, used to the elves bitter personality.

He opened his wardrobe, unsure of what muggles wore to go grocery shopping. Most of his muggle clothing consisted of suits. He cocked his head, and got an idea. He grabbed the white button up that went with one of the suits and a pair of jeans he was pretty sure Sirius got for him for Christmas two years ago, that he had never worn. He changed out of his robes and slipped the jeans on, which fit perfectly. He glanced down at his scar covered chest and stomach, glaring slightly. _No women would ever like a scar ridden man, let alone an old werewolf covered in scars. Especially not a wonderful girl like Tonks. She's too smart for that... _Remus thought, then sighed. He didn't want to think about her like that. They were just friends, he reminded himself.  
He slipped his arms into the sleeves of his shirt and buttoned it up, most the way. Leaving the two top buttons undone, he rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. He glanced into the mirror, happy that he looked presentable as a muggle. He ran his hands through his hair, which was mainly sandy brown, with just a few strands of grey. _Grey. Because I'm old._ He thought, frustrated that he couldn't be young and carefree, free to have feelings for HER.

Tonks drug him down the street to this tiny market store, he opened the door for her and heard the bell on it jingle. They both stepped in and he heard her sigh, the building was quite a bit cooler than it was outside, the summer sun had been getting to her. She smiled at him "follow me!" She said heading down an isle that was marked canned goods. "So, I was thinking we could grab some simple ingredients and then we could make and freeze some meals for Sirius. Do you think he would like that? I mean, if we got a cookbook and we all three pitched in, I'm sure we could make SOMETHING edible." She said, her eyes sparkling a blue-violet.

"I think that's a wonderful idea." Remus said, re-folding his sleeves up, they had slipped down a bit, but then scowled at the now vulnerable scars all over his forearm. "I think your scars are handsome." Tonks said, blushing, making an obvious attempt to keep her hair from morphing, as he saw the tips turn peach before fading into pink again. She obviously didnt want to scare the muggles. Remus gave her a oh, come on look. "Yeah, because we all know a scar covered, old, werewolf is just the sexiest thing ever!" He said sarcastically. "I'm not lying, I think you are very handsome... Oh, look! Wax beans!" She exclaimed, obviously trying to change the subject, as the peach tips returned.  
Remus was seriously confused. She didnt sound like she had been lying, but he couldn't fathom Nymphadora Tonks finding an old, marred, wolf like himself attractive. "Remus, do you know how to bake a ham?" She asked, grabbing his hand and dragging him over to the butchers window. He blushed the second her fingers intertwined with his own. He chuckled softly, gazing at her with wonder, "Yes, Nymphadora, I indeed do. Twenty minutes per pound. It's fairly simple, really." Remus explained to her. "Do you think Sirius would like that?" She asked, gazing through the window, at all of the freshly cut, raw meat. "Oh! And look! Some hamburger. Can you freeze hamburgers? Oh! A chicken! I know how to make a wonderfully simple soup!" Tonks was getting excited and Remus couldn't help laugh at her eagerness. She really was easily happy.

Tonks placed the meat order and the butcher told them it would be ready in twenty minutes, then he winked at her. She smiled and thanked him, oblivious to the flirting. Remus wasn't though, as they walked off he put his hand on the small of her back and turned to look at the young man, who took their order and glared. Tonks, oblivious, smiled up at him, his hand still resting on her back, he realized what he had just done. Had he really gotten jealous over some guy who was actually her age? She wasn't his... Unfortunately. He sighed and removed his hand, running it through his hair, a piece flopping right into his face., he didnt bother brushing it out of the way.  
Tonks smiled and gave him a quick hug, surprising him, before skipping off to the dry goods isle. Remus followed, dumbfounded. How can she be so... Comfortable with me? IM dangerous...Remus thought to himself as she pulled all different kinds of noodles and rice off the shelf, filling his arms with said items. "Should I go get a basket?" He asked her, almost dropping a bag of rice, which he caught with his pinky. She giggled and pushed the piece of stray hair out if his face, then studied his face. He looked at her eyes, noticing how her pupils were surrounded by a light blue, then the rest of her irises were a violet with flecks of silver. They really were beautiful... Remus quickly looked away, realizing what he was doing, surroughly embarrassed.  
Tonks sighed, looking a tad bit hurt, for reasons unknown to Remus. She obviously could tell he had feelings for her and it made her uncomfortable, he guessed. "No, I'll go get it." Tonks said walking off, leaving him in the isle, alone, as another piece of hair fell in his face.

The door jingled again as they left the store with their arms full of paper bags. The sun was just setting, a beautiful shade of orange taking over the sky, the temperature finally dropping a few degrees. "Thanks for helping me today, I don't think I would have picked out such good food without you." Remus said smiling down at her, she avoided his eye. He sighed. "Shall we head back to grimmauld place?" She asked him, quietly. He nodded and she grabbed his arm, appirating to the porch together. Remus shifted the bags around until he had a hand free and got the door for her. She muttered thanks and headed inside to the kitchen. She just missed tripping over the leg and let out a tiny cough-like laugh.

"Thanks again guys!" Sirius called after them as they both left grimmauld place with the promise of coming back to help cook his food next Saturday. They both informed him it was no problem and Remus shut the door behind them. Tonks surprised him by plopping down onto the old, cracking steps of grimmauld place, patting the spot next to her. Remus carefully sat down next to her and looked at her quizzically, "What's wrong?" He asked, noticing the look on her face.  
Tonks sighed and looked at her feet, "Have I been bothering you?" She asked, strongly, looking him in the eyes suddenly. "What? You think you have been bothering me?" Remus asked, Incredulously. She couldn't possibly think something like that, could she? She nodded and looked back at her feet. Remus started laughing. Hard. She didnt hate him, she thought he hated her. He laughed even harder, both relieved and amazed. Tonks glared at him, "Well, you don't have to laugh!" She said sounding hurt. She stood up, brushing the dirt from the back of her pants and started walking off.

"Wait! Nymphadora! I wasn't laughing at you! I was laughing at the thought of you thinking I didn't want you around! I love your company!" Remus said walking after her. She stopped and turned on him, her hair turning peach. He grinned. "Really?" She asked, as if she didnt believe him. "Yes! Tonks, why wouldn't I?" He said gently, looking at his feet this time.  
"Oh, no reason. Nevermind!" He could hear the smile in her voice and she walked up to him. He looked up just in enough time to feel her small arms go around his waist as she gave him a tight hug, which he returned, without thinking. Deep down he knew he shouldn't be doing this, but frankly, he didnt give a damn. He smiled, thinking about the gone with the wind reference. He hated that movie, though he could faintly remember Lily forcing all of the marauders into watching it one time. He smiled.

She let go after a minute and stepped back, smiling at him. "By the way, I know it's been bothering, so I figured I would say something about it. I don't give a crap that you are a werewolf. I like you how you are!" She said, hair peach again. He felt his mouth kind of open in shock, he wasn't used to people accepting him, let alone telling him they did. Remus just caught the happy twinkle in her eyes and she apparated away. He accepted it. He absolutely loved the way she said good morning and the way she accepted him as he was...


	4. Chapter 4

_If you are chilly, here take my sweater..._

Tonks yawned and stretched, still on the couch with the paperwork she had been concentrating on for the past three hours. She curled back up, chewing on her pen. She never used quills while doing paperwork, She didnt want it to drip. She sighed again, she had no idea what to write in this report, she had been working with Kingsley "tracking" Sirius.

He had given her the task of writing up a fake, but believable, report on his latest whereabouts, which was really funny, considering she was sitting across from him, about to have dinner with the said "stark raving mad murderer".

Sirius looked up from the prophet, "Oh, by the way, did I tell you Remus was stopping by a bit before the meeting tonight?" Tonks looked up from her paper again and shook her head, "No, you didn't. Why?" She asked, trying to conceal her happiness, which was difficult because her hair was turning yellow. It had been three weeks since she had last seen Remus, they had both been busy with work and the order. She was used to seeing him atleast twice a week, because of meetings and Sirius. They had become a fairly close trio.

"Mmm, he said he had been missing our conversations, but I think it had something more to do with pink haired witch I know. Am I the only one who noticed how he seems to come here for you, not handsome me?" Sirius asked, smirking as her hair turned peach. "Well, of course we are close! We are friends." Tonks answered, then realized how utterly lame she sounded. All Sirius did was wink and look back down at the paper. She sighed.

_How long can I keep my...er... Feelings a secret from Remus if I can't even manage to keep them away from Sirius? Do I even want to keep them from him_? She thought to herself, her hair turning peach again. She frowned, concentrating on turning it brown once more.

Tonks laughed and bit into the chocolate muffin Remus had brought her, as he told Sirius a joke he had heard about trolls. She absolutely loved the muffin, she made a sound of appreciation. She loved it even more once she found out he had made it by hand and that there were eleven more just like it waiting for her at his place. He promised to bring them by soon. She giggled, remembering when Sirius had pouted and asked where his muffin was. Remus had kinda blushed, ran his hand through his hair and mumbled "forgot." It was extremely sexy.

That's one thing Tonks didn't understand about Lupin, half the time he flirted with her and the other half he acted like he couldn't stand her. It made no sense! She wasn't sure how long it would be before he broke down and cornered him. Tonks sighed and looked to her left, where Remus was sitting, talking to Sirius, who was in the ugly wing back char, across from the sofa.

She studied Remus's features: his perfectly almond shaped, melted chocolate brown eyes, lined with dark lashes; his crooked smile that showed how gentle and caring he really is; his sandy brown hair that was always slightly too long and in his face, it looked so soft; the scars that covered his body, that showed what he as been through, and how strong he is; and last, but certainly not least, his long, lean, but gently muscular body.

Tonks looked back up to find he was looking at her, a slight marauder-esque smirk on his face. He winked at her before looking back at Sirius. Tonks felt her heart drop. _Was that a friendly wink or a flirty wink_? She asked herself, trying to sort it all out, including her inappropriate emotions towards him.

Tonks looked back up and on impulse asked, "Hey, Remus, do you want to go for a walk? It's nice out and I've been cramped up inside this house all day." He stopped talking to Sirius as looked at her, curiously. "Is everything okay, Nymphadora?" He asked, concern covering his face. Sirius just smirked, understanding she just wanted some time alone with him.

"It's fine, I'm fine. Like I said, I've just been inside all day. I wish to stretch my legs, is all." Tonks answered, unsure if she was doing the right thing, asking to be alone with him. She didnt want to lose their friendship and she wasn't sure if he would run the other way if he found out that she had feelings for him.

_It's not like he would be attracted a GIRL, he would want a women, someone closer to his age. Im thirteen years younger, he probably sees me as a kid. Plus, I'm clumsy and I can choose to have a beak for petes sake!_ Tonks thought, waiting for his reply. Remus looked like he was Considering his options, the meeting wasn't going to start for another hour, so they would have time. "Mmmk, lets go." Remus said looking at her and smiling gently.

He got off the couch and dusted off his jumper, which had lint on it. Tonks smiled at his cleanliness, and manners. It never ceased to amaze her how much of a gentleman he was. She couldn't help but laugh when he held out his arm for her to grab, bowed, and smirked slightly. Tonks giggled and put her hand on his arm, feeling the sturdiness of it. Her heart skipped a beat, she shouldn't feel this way with him. She never felt this...right with a man before. Sirius scowled at them for leaving him and mumbled something that sounded like "bloody house arrest" and some more...er..._vulgar_ words. Remus chuckled and led Tonks outside.

She let go of his arm and shoved her hands in the back pockets, of her black skinny jeans. She was also wearing a purple-off the shoulder three quarter shirt, and a pair of old leather boots. Her hair was curly, shoulder length and a shade of brown she enjoyed, the bangs slightly long. Remus looked at her and opened his mouth, looking like he was going to say something, then shut it again. "Yes, Remus?" Tonks asked, looking at the cracked sidewalk as it passed beneath her, craggily bits of dying plants growing all over the cracked parts.

He sighed and just shook his head, his shaggy, sandy brown waves looking a bit more limp than usual, looking a more grey than usual. Tonks realized that it was a full moon in two nights, no wonder he wasn't acting normal. He never did around this time of the month. "Got your wolfsbane?" She asked quietly. Remus just nodded, looking slightly deflated. Tonks reached out and grabbed his hand, he squeezed it back. They just continued walking, hand in hand. It was getting dark out and the wind picked up. Tonks shivered slightly.

"Are you cold?" Remus asked, smiling in amusement. Tonks smiled up at him, "I'm fine, really!" She said as the wind whipped through their hair. He unbuttoned his jumper, stopped, and turned so he was facing her. He guided her arms through the sleeves and started buttoning it up for her. She smiled, blushing, they were so close. "There, better?" Remus asked, quietly looking her in the eye. She inhaled his scent, she absolutely loved it, oldspice, chocolate, and a slightly smoky scent that reminded her of grimmauld place.

"Thanks." She said looking back, affectionately smiling at him. He kept his hands on the front of the jumper, she took a step closer, looking at his lips, then back at his eyes. She had heard that the eyes are the windows to the soul. He had a very nice soul. "Aren't you going to be cold now?" She asked, he only had a white, v-neck tshirt on. He just shook his head. Remus started to lean down a bit, he looked like enchanted by her. She stood on her tiptoes to meet him. He pressed his lips to hers, as his hands were still on the buttons of her jumper. Tonks wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

Remus suddenly jerked away, avoiding her gaze, he knew he shouldn't have done that. "Sorry, oh crap. I shouldn't have done that. Ugh! I'm sorry..." He said backing away, running his hand through his hair. "Keep the sweater, I'll talk to you later..." Remus turned and started striding down the street, searching for an open alley to apparate in. "Wait! Remus!" Tonks called, heading after him, she didnt reach him in time as she heard the obvious CRACK of his apparition.

Tonks sighed and leaned against the nearest building. _It was amazing. It was right. Did he not feel the same way? Did he realize he didn't like it and that's why he left? _Tonks sank down to her heels, confused and hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

_Your head is aching, I'll make it better..._

Remus groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers over his messy haired head. He opened his eyes, just to quickly shut them again, the light coming through the drapes were just too much. _What happened last night? _He asked himself, he knew it had been the full moon, but normally his head didn't feel like it was going to pop.

Remus sat up and turned green. He jumped out of bed and managed to get into the bathroom just in time to heave yesterday's lunch up. He sat over the toilet gagging, which didnt help his head any. He heard Sirius shout something from his bedroom, the next floor up. Remus wiped his mouth and called out, "I'm fi-" he was cut off by another bout of vomit. He heard the squeaking of springs as Sirius rolled out of bed and clomped down the stairs. Remus heaved once more, feeling exhausted and shaky. He was never this sick after a transformation. Normally he was just sore, tired, and injured. He was most definitely still sore, tired, and- He looked at his arms and bare chest to see the huge scratches all over it- injured. He groaned again as Sirius opened the bathroom door, "You look took absolutely ghastly! What happened?"

Remus looked up at him, flushed the toilet and stood up. He shakily walked over to the sink, wetting his toothbrush and said, while brushing his teeth, "Thanks, padfoot, you look amazing too. I don't know what's wrong I just feel horrible." He spit out the paste and glared at Sirius, who was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a black baggy tshirt. "Can I help you with anything?" Sirius asked, while scratching his shaggy, bed head.

Remus shook his head, "Let me go back to sleep?" He said, then another wave of nausea struck him. He threw up the toilet lid and started coughing in it again. Sirius mumbled something about tea and breakfast and left.

Remus was startled out of his uneasy sleep by a knock on his door. He opened his eyes and much to his relief saw that there was no sunlight streaming through the windows. It must be late. "Yeah, come in." He said, thinking it was Sirius come to check on him. The door opened and the light from the hallway silhouetted a females figure. "Wotcher, Remus." Came her soft voice. Remus flopped his head back onto the pillow.

It had been six days since the kiss- not that he'd been counting or anything- and he hadn't seen her since. He was ashamed and embarrassed, what made it worse was how much he had enjoyed it. He shouldn't have gotten that close to her anyway, he knew he wasn't good for her. He was dangerous. "Hello, Nymphadora." He replied in a quiet, distant voice.

"Can I come in?" She asked, as his vision started clearing a bit and she came into focus. She was sporting limp, mousy brown hair; a baggy grey sweater; and a pair of dark denim jeans. Remus made an affirmative sound and tried to sit up against the headboard, realizing he didnt have a shirt on he pulled up the bed sheet. Tonks came in the rest of the way and shut the door behind herself. "Sirius sent a patronus saying you were sick..." She started, then trailed off. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I think I figured out what happened." He said and winced, as a sudden burst of pain went through his head. "Are you okay?" Tonks asked, leaning forwards and holding her hands out, as if she expected him to pass out or something.

"Mmm, yes, I'm okay. Headache." He answered as he layed back onto his pillow and shut his eyes. He felt the mattress dip down very slightly as she sat down near his feet and placed her hand of his arm, he opened one eye and looked at her. She smiled slightly, and asked, "What is causing it?"

Remus rubbed his face and realized he hadn't shaved in three days, "Old wolfsbane. I bought it off some guy on the street. Well, old or it wasn't made right. I'm not completely sure. I got into a fight with Snape, so he wouldn't make me any... Not very many people sell it, let alone for a fair price... So, since I didn't have enough money to buy it from a healer, I bought it anyway, hoping I could keep a shred of my humanity..." He stopped and sighed, another wave of migraine-like pain exploded through his head.

Tonks muttered something not very friendly about Snape, Remus laughed a bit. She placed her palm very lightly on his forehead. "Oh, crap! You have a fever, it feels pretty high... I'll go get some ice." She got off the bed and quickly left the room. He layed back down and darkness swept over him again.

"Is he going to be okay?" "I think so, his fever has gone down a bit." Remus stirred as he heard the voices of two of the most important people in the world to him. "Remus, are you awake?" He heard the soft, delicate voice of the women he lo- had feelings for. He opened his eyes to see that it was still dark out. "You passed out, your fever got too high." He heard Sirius from somewhere in the darker corners of his room. Remus looked at tonks who was leaning over him, placing a cold washcloth on his forehead. "You are still burning up." She whispered, not wanting to hurt his head, which was still pounding.

Sirius muttered something about sending Molly a patronus and left the dark room, Remus would have normally objected, but he felt too rotten to do so. His stomach started twisting and he suddenly felt nauseated again. He groaned, placing his hands in his stomach and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the pain to pass.

"You are an utter git." He heard tonks say. His eyes flashed open and he looked at her with bewilderment. Maybe he was hallucinating. "What?" He asked, his voice deep and hoarse. "I said, you are an utter git." She said again, a twinkle in her violet eyes. Remus coughed and a muscle in his back started spasmimg. He flinched in pain, closing his eyes once more.  
"If you ever do something so stupid again, I will not forgive you!" She exclaimed grabbing his hand as the spasm got worse, he moaned and mumbled "ow." Remus opened his eyes again and gave tonks a half smile, "So, you don't hate me?" He asked and flinched again.

"Hate you? I could never hate you! I'm not even mad, I'm just hurt... I don't understand why you would kiss me like that and then... And then just leave. Did you not enjoy it?" Tonks asked letting go of his hand and looking at her own. Remus just sat in silence, debating his options.

_I can tell her how I really feel and possibly endanger her, but what if she leaves me? What if she just doesn't even feel the same way? Or I could just keep my feelings to myself. She would move on and meet a new guy, who could make her happier... Who wouldn't be old and a problem. She is already worrying and this is only the first time she's seen me sick. But... I'm not sure if I could manage my life without her now. I need her happy face. I'm selfish, but..._

When he looked back up at her he saw the tears in her eyes. His heart broke, he could almost hear the crack. "Tonks, look at me..." He said, gently, clearing his throat. She looked up at him and a tear slid down her cheek. Remus wiped the tear away with his thumb and pulled her face down to his own. He kissed her and she kissed back. When he felt her lips on his he couldn't explain how right it felt. It felt like he had been born just to kiss her.

He felt her hand slide up to his face and her thumb started tracing patterns on his unshaved jaw. He pulled away and looked her in the eyes, her hand still on his cheek. She smiled and her hair turned yellow. Remus grinned back, he didnt care how sick he felt, he would always remember this memory with utter joy. "Yellow?" He asked, a chuckle coming out of his mouth. Tonks grinned at him, "happiness." Was all she said and kissed him again just as Sirius walked back in, followed by Molly, mad-eye, and Arthur.

Tonks ignored them all and continued kissing him, Remus felt his face burst into a blush, but pulled her even closer, putting his hand in her brght yellow, long hair. He heard Sirius clear his throat, "Well, I take it you are feeling better!" The door shut, and Remus guessed that everyone had left. He grinned against, tonks's lips and felt her giggle. She pulled away and asked how he was feeling. "Hmm, terrible... But, I have am idea of how you could make me feel better..." Was all Remus had to say before tonks kissed him once more. He could almost feel his own hair turn yellow.


End file.
